You’ve spent months wedding planning, pouring your time and energy into seating charts, cake flavors, and that choreographed first dance that you and your partner totally nailed. Your wedding day was everything you hoped it would be and everyone had a great time. You couldn’t ask for more, and yet…
Now that the curtains have drawn on your big day, you’re left feeling a bit blue. You’ve had months of something to look forward to, people interested in what you’re doing, and then, snap! It all goes away, just like that.
You may be asking yourself, “Now what?” Although it seems like such a simple question, it can lead to what feels like a void. Gone are the days of pre-wedding parties and activities. Now what is there to look forward to? Now what are you supposed to fill your time with?
What you’re feeling is completely normal and even expected. Big life events, whether challenging or joyous, can lead to bouts of sadness after the event has come and gone.
What causes the post-wedding blues?
There are a range of reasons why someone might feel depressed after the wedding, but some of the most common include:
- Wedding planning can become an excuse to put off other big things, so when the planning is all said and done, you’re faced with those other big things again.
- A large emotional and financial investment goes into wedding planning. You may feel emotionally drained and anxious about paying off the bills.
- A lot of pressure is put onto couples. You’ve been told it’s supposed to be the biggest and best day of your life, but if that’s true, then what are all the days afterward supposed to be/feel like?
- There are no more wedding planning activities filling your days, which can lead to a “What am I supposed to do now?” state of mind.
What do the post-wedding blues feel like?
You may feel emotions like:
Ways to Soothe the Post-Wedding Blues
Like a calming cup of chamomile tea, these tips should help calm your concerns and allow you to happily start the next chapter of your life with your spouse.
Communicate with your partner
Don’t feel ashamed or try and hide your feelings from your spouse. Bottling up everything can make it harder on you and your relationship. Talk about how you’re feeling and what you both can do to move forward.
Instead of thinking that your wedding is a single event that defines your life (especially your life with your spouse), think of it as a new beginning, a new chapter, a symbolic event that’s also a big party. Couples tend to place a lot of importance on their wedding day, and although it is a special moment, it’s not the only defining moment of your life.
Find or rediscover a hobby
Planning can become a hobby of sorts, if not a full-blown job, so afterward you may feel at a loss. Now’s the time to rediscover a favorite pastime or find a new hobby/goal to work on.
You’ve probably heard that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Basically, it’s easier to stop the post-wedding blues from happening than deal with its effects after the fact. Prevention is the key.
Some ideas on how you can prevent the post-wedding blues:
- Place more of your focus on the marriage than on the wedding.
- Nurture the relationship and upcoming nuptials by taking a day or two each week to do non-wedding things together. Have date nights. Talk about the other things going on in your lives.
- Give yourself time after the wedding before you go on the honeymoon. Some downtime will allow you to rest after all that planning and partying, plus, you’ll have another fun event to look forward to.
- Create a new goal with your spouse, something you’ll both enjoy working towards together. Not only does this help get your mind off all the wedding stuff, it can also strengthen the relationship through bonding and teamwork.
Most importantly, if after a few months you still feel depressed, think about connecting with a counselor or other professional mental health advisor. There could be a larger, underlying problem that needs time and attention.
Feeling like you're the only bride who has experienced post-wedding blues? I have good news for you, you're not alone!
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