When you first started wedding planning, everything was all buttercream frosting and sugared roses. It was new and exciting and easy. But somewhere down the path you lost your footing. You tripped over the tulle and face planted straight into that buttercream frosted cake.

Things went wrong. Vendors disappeared. Contracts got lost. Drama happened.

“I’m fed up!”

“It’s so stressful!”

“I don’t even want to plan a wedding anymore.”

If you’ve thought or said these things, you’re not alone. Even planning a small wedding can feel like a gigantic task. A lot of thought and organization goes into creating such a special celebration, so it’s not such a huge surprise when brides and grooms start pulling their hair out and wondering if a wedding is such a good idea.

First, take a deep breath and roll your shoulders back. Breathe out slowly and drop your shoulders. Doesn’t that feel better?

Now, let’s talk about how you can handle wedding planning stress and the steps you can take before you throw up your hands in frustration and move to a deserted island.

Get Help. Some of us are type A perfectionists and/or like to take control of things. There’s nothing wrong with that...until there is. Why? Because we all need a little help every now and then. Some things are just too big to handle on our own. If you feel like you’re in over your head in wedding planning, reach out and ask for help.

Call on your wedding party and family and friends. Ask them if they can help with DIY projects or addressing envelopes or baking cupcakes. Or, if the budget allows, consider hiring a professional wedding planner or wedding day coordinator.

Related: Why Wedding Coordinators Are Important

You don’t have to carry all the weight on your shoulders. Don’t be afraid to ask for the help you need, when you need it. Doing so will ease your task load and your stress, giving you more time to enjoy your engagement and the planning process.

Bride wrapping her arms around the shoulders of the groom as they hug and he wraps his arms around her waist at the Ingenhuett on High in Comfort, Texas. Photograph by Austin, Texas wedding photographer Nikk Nguyen.

Give Yourself Time Off. If you’re feeling fed up with wedding planning, it might be because you’ve let it take over your life. At this point, even the word “wedding” might make you want to scream. If that’s the case, it’s time to take a break, no guilt. Otherwise, you’ll burn out in a big way. Go ahead, take a mini vacay with your significant other. It doesn’t have to be anything grand or expensive. A road trip to the next town over will do.

If travel is out of the question, take a break by planning a no-wedding-talk weekend. If someone brings up anything to do with the wedding, put up your “stop right there” hand and shake your head. Just give yourself some breathing room and a little time away from planning. You’ll feel much better.

Make Changes When Necessary. Your time and energy is precious, so don’t waste it on unprofessional vendors or drama causing family and friends. If your vendors or wedding party members are getting you down, not answering your calls, flaking out, get rid of them. There’s no sense in handing over your hard-earned cash to businesses that can’t get it together, and there’s no need for you to rely on friends/family who are causing more trouble than they’re worth.

Set up some boundaries with these folks or get rid of them altogether. You’ve got better things to do than sit around and stress over other people’s problems.

Cut Down on Information. Wedding magazines and websites are great tools and provide a lot of ideas, advice, and inspiration. But having an abundance of these can also cause information overload. You’re probably bombarded with blog posts, email newsletters, and magazine subscriptions, and some of these can lead you to worry about what you’re doing wrong or what you’ll forget. Ever see a blog post like “5 Things You’ll Forget on Your Wedding Day”? Maybe you never even thought about it until you read the article.

People have good intentions, but they also have to constantly provide their sites and pages with info. That means they need to come up with anything and everything they can think of, which includes things you should definitely not lose sleep over. And besides that, when you take in so much information, you’re likely to start second guessing your decisions, which can also lead you to feel overwhelmed and frustrated.

Do yourself a favor and trim the fat, so to speak. Declutter your inbox by unsubscribing from a few newsletters (do you really need emails from 10 different wedding blogs?). Throw out the old bridal magazines. Limit your online wedding time (yes, Pinterest included). Channel your inner minimalist and your stressed out, fed up, wedding planning self will thank you.

Bride holding her bouquet and laughing in front of a tree with the groom holding the train of her dress and the groomsmen around them at the Brodie Homestead in Sunset Valley, Texas. Photograph by Austin, Texas wedding photographer Nikk Nguyen.

Don’t Worry, Be Happy. Easier said than done, right? But seriously, it can be easy when you keep two things in mind:

  1. Some things are out of your control.
  2. You can’t please everyone.

Don’t worry about things that are out of your control, like pregnancies, divorces, accidents, etc. Your sister broke her leg and can’t be your maid of honor? Out of your control. But you do have control over how you react and handle the situation.

You also can’t burden yourself with worries about what might go wrong on your wedding day. Will it rain? Will someone get drunk and knock over a table? Will you trip down the aisle? When it comes to these things, all you can do is prepare in the best way possible and then let it be. Worrying about it now won’t change anything, so instead of asking, “What if this or this or this goes wrong?” ask yourself, “What if everything goes right?”

As for pleasing everyone, you know you can’t do that in any area of your life. There will always be someone who doesn’t like something, but this is your wedding. Stand up for yourself and the things you want. #noregrets

Your wedding day, it’s a big deal, yes, but it’s also not. Life is happening before it and life will continue after the confetti is popped and all the champagne bottles are emptied. This is just one moment in your great big life. Remember that when you start feeling overwhelmed. You’ll get through this, and yes, it will be worth it.

Related: How to Tell Your Wedding Guests to "Unplug"

Tired of wedding planning? Let's connect! I have tons of ideas, tips, and tricks from brides who have planned incredible weddings.

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